Sets & Coordinating: How to Wear Them Without Looking Like a Catalogue

Lily Green Agate Set$135 Sun, Moon & Star SetFull set $106 Blue Evil Eye SetFull set $98 Faceted Gemstone Bracelet Set$65 Amethyst Exquisite Earrings$45 · necklace to match Aurora Crystal Star Earrings$35 Flower-Cap Glass DropsFrom $35

Nobody has ever complimented a matching set. They compliment the earrings.

I've watched it happen at three markets in a row. A woman puts on a full matched set (necklace, bracelet, earrings, all the same stone, all the same finish) and looks at herself in the mirror with an expression I can only describe as polite. Then she swaps one piece for something in a different stone, and her whole face changes. That's the one. That's the version she takes a photo of.

So this is a guide to sets that doesn't end with “wear all of it at once.” Coordinating is not matching. Matching is what a catalogue does because a catalogue has to photograph everything on one white background. You have a neck, wrists, ears, a life, and about four minutes before you have to leave.

Coordinate, don't match: the one rule

Pick one thing to repeat, and let everything else be different.

The thing you repeat can be the metal, the colour, the stone or the finish, but it's one of those, not all four. When all four repeat, the eye reads it as a uniform. When one repeats, the eye reads it as intention.

• Repeat the metal, vary the stone. Gold across the board, but moss agate at the wrist and amethyst at the throat. This is the easiest one and it works on everything.
• Repeat the colour, vary the material. A deep blue lapis pendant with faceted blue glass drops. Same colour story, two different textures, and the texture is why it looks considered.
• Repeat the stone, vary the scale. One large stone at the neck, tiny ones at the ear. Same stone, two volumes.

Wearing a lot is fine. Wearing a lot of the same weight is the mistake. One loud piece and two quiet ones will always read better than three medium ones.

The three ways to build a set

1. The bought set

A necklace and bracelet (sometimes earrings) designed to go together from the start. You're buying the decision as much as the pieces, and there's nothing wrong with that. Some mornings you don't want a decision, you want to put on jewellery and leave the house.

Buy this one when you're gifting, when you're starting from nothing, or when the stone is the whole point and you want it in more than one place. The Lily green agate set is the one seen on Bones and The Vampire Diaries; the sun, moon and star set is the waterproof one you can sleep, swim and forget you're wearing.

2. The anchor and the chorus

One piece does the talking. Everything else agrees with it quietly.

Start with the piece you already love, the one you'd wear if you could only wear one. That's the anchor. Then add pieces that share exactly one attribute with it and are visibly smaller. A statement labradorite pendant is the anchor; small silver hoops and a single grey agate bracelet are the chorus. Nobody looks at the chorus, and they're not supposed to.

3. The slow set

You build it over a year. A pair of earrings in March, a bracelet in June, a pendant when something changes. It doesn't match, but it coordinates, because it's all been chosen by the same person with the same eye. That's the only coordinating system that has ever really worked.

This is the one most women I talk to are already doing. They just hadn't given it a name.

The part most jewellery sites won't put in writing

You should know who made the thing you're wearing. You asked a fair question and you deserve a straight answer, so here it is, line by line.

The Glass & Light pieces are assembled by me, in Calgary. Faceted glass, leverback wires, the drops and the pebbles and the bars. I sit down with components and put them together at my own table. When you open that box, it left my hands. Glass & Light.

The gemstone necklace-and-bracelet sets are assembled by me too. The stone strands, the pairings, the decision about which bracelet belongs with which pendant: that's me, in Calgary, usually with a dog somewhere near my feet.

The one-of-a-kind pieces are made by hand in Calgary. They exist exactly once. When one sells, that's the end of it. There's no second one in a drawer somewhere, which is the entire point and also what makes them a little bit hard to sell responsibly.

And the carve-out: a handful of the waterproof and plated pieces are supplier-made rather than bench-made, and while I keep stock here and ship from Calgary whenever I can, if a size runs out the supplier ships it directly. That's not a Calgary-made piece and I'm not going to call it one. Every listing tells you which is which.

I'd rather write that paragraph than have you find out later and wonder what else I'd rounded up.

Which stones coordinate well, and which ones fight

Some stones want company. Some want the room.

Lapis lazuli is a soloist. That blue is so saturated it flattens anything else blue standing next to it. Give it silver and give it space. A lapis pendant with plain silver hoops is a complete outfit. Lapis lazuli jewellery.

Moss agate is the great collaborator. It's green with visible inclusions, so it already contains variation, which means it sits happily next to almost anything warm. Moss agate at the wrist under a rolled sleeve is my most-worn combination and it goes with everything I own. Find it in shop by stone.

Amethyst coordinates by colour rather than by weight. Purple stone at the neck, purple glass at the ear: same colour, two materials, and the texture does the work. Amethyst jewellery.

Labradorite behaves more like a lighting condition than a colour. It flashes blue, gold or green depending on how you turn, so it will find something to agree with in whatever else you're wearing. It doesn't need help. Labradorite jewellery.

Amazonite and rose quartz are the soft ones: pale, matte, forgiving. Reach for these when you want the set to disappear into the day rather than announce itself. Rose quartz jewellery.

Moonstone goes with everything and belongs to nothing. If you're building a slow set and want one piece that will still work in four years, that's the one. Moonstone jewellery.

Every other stone lives in the shop-by-stone collection.

Wrists, and why stacking is its own skill

A bracelet stack is a set that happens to live on one arm, and it follows different rules than the neck, mostly because everything on a wrist touches everything else. The easiest start is a stack that's already decided for you: the faceted gemstone bracelet set comes in lapis, amethyst, aquamarine or moonstone, in three wrist sizes. If you'd rather build your own, how to build a meaningful bracelet stack from scratch goes further than I can here.

Same for the neck: two chains at the same length will fight all day. Placement, chain length and layering are all in the complete guide to wearing crystal jewellery.

Sets as gifts: the version that works

Sets sell in October and November because they solve a specific problem: you want to give something that looks like you thought about it, and one small thing looks like an afterthought.

Two pieces reads as considered. Three reads as generous. Neither has to be expensive. A modest pair of glass drops with a bracelet in the same colour family is a better gift than one pricier piece on its own, because opening two things is a different experience than opening one.

And if you're buying for someone who's more into crystals than you are: pick the metal she already wears, pick a colour you've seen on her, and stop there. You don't have to get the stone right. She'll tell you the stone, and that's half the fun for her. If that's the position you're in, buying for someone who's into crystals when you're not is the whole guide.

Find the stone for this chapter

If you know the feeling but not the stone, the Gemstone Quiz takes 60 seconds and tells you which stone matches the chapter you're in. If you'd rather start from the body than the stone, the Chakra Quiz asks a different question and lands you somewhere different.

Keep Reading

• How to build a meaningful bracelet stack from scratch
• How to layer crystal jewellery with intention
• What each necklace length means
• What each crystal colour means
• The complete crystal guide: where to start
• The jewellery cleaning guide
• The crystal care guide

Jewellery Sets FAQ

Q: Do I have to wear the whole set at once?
A: No, and most of the time you shouldn't. A set is a coordinated group you can draw from, not an outfit with a fixed uniform. Wearing two of three pieces is the most common way my sets get worn.

Q: Can I mix gold and silver?
A: Yes, as long as something else in the group repeats. Mixed metals read as deliberate when a colour or a stone carries across, and read as an accident when nothing does. One mixed-metal piece in the group does this job on its own.

Q: Are Mystic Soul jewellery sets made in Canada?
A: Mystic Soul Jewelry is a Canadian small business in Calgary, Alberta, and everything is designed here. The Glass & Light pieces and the gemstone necklace-and-bracelet sets are hand-assembled in Calgary by me; the one-of-a-kind pieces are made by hand in Calgary. Some waterproof and plated pieces are supplier-made, and each listing says so.

Q: What's the difference between a set and a one-of-a-kind piece?
A: A set is repeatable. If you love it, I can usually make it again. A one-of-a-kind piece exists exactly once, because the stones it was made from existed exactly once. Different promise, on purpose.

Q: How do I clean a set with mixed materials?
A: Match the guide to the piece, not to the box it came in. Plated, glass and metal pieces follow the jewellery cleaning guide; genuine gemstone pieces follow the crystal care guide. Both are linked in Keep Reading above. Never soak a beaded strand.

Q: What if one piece of my set goes out of stock?
A: For sets, message me. Most components can be re-sourced. One-of-a-kind pieces can't, which is why those are listed separately rather than folded into the sets collection.

Mystic Soul Jewelry — Canadian small business, Calgary, Alberta, since 2008.

— Andrea